The 20s—a decade of contradictions, chaos, and the occasional existential crisis.

On the grand timeline of life, ten years might seem like a blip. But zoom in, and suddenly, it’s clear why this era gets all the hype. It’s not just about being an adult. It’s about becoming the adult you’re meant to be.

But what exactly makes the 20s the ultimate adulting boot camp? And is there even a right way to live through it?

We’ve all seen those heartfelt letters and emotional blog posts titled “Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s.” And yes, they get me every single time (seriously, it’s embarrassing how often I tear up). 

But then, I always find myself wondering: do we really wish we had known better?

If we’re talking childhood. I don’t know, maybe? 

But when it comes to our 20s? That’s up for debate.

Here’s why.

Leonardo da Vinci once said,

“Wisdom is the daughter of experience.”

And let’s be real, experience almost never comes without its fair share of stumbles. Every heartbreak, every failure, every impulsive decision that made no sense by 2 a.m.—they all chip away at the raw version of ourselves, shaping the person who will one day look back and write their own reflective letter.

Your 20s are the plot twist no one prepared you for. One day, you’re chasing your dreams with all the passion in the world. The next, you’re staring at your ceiling, questioning if those dreams were even yours to begin with. 

And all the while, you’re navigating a new kind of happiness, a new wave of anxiety, and a whole lot of weird and “I don’t know how I’m feeling.”

Then, BOOM. You hit 25!

Suddenly, you’ve unlocked a new level of adulthood. 

Congratulations! You now have a new item in your 20s package: back pain.

Slowly, the chaos starts to settle. The highs feel calmer. The lows feel a little more manageable. You start prioritising sleep, remembering to take your vitamins, and sneaking protein into your meals like some kind of responsible adult (seriously, who is this new person? Or maybe, who and why was that before?). 

But even with all that, you still feel like you’re in the middle of some grand transformation—halfway through a metamorphosis that no one gave you a manual for.

We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences – be they positive or negative – make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives…None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.

BJ Neblett

Think about it. 

All this change, all this growth, all packed into just one decade. How could one possibly come out of it unchanged?

So, if we had the chance, would we tell our younger selves to slow down, breathe, and just enjoy the ride? Sure. 

But would we really want to replace the very struggles and messy emotions that shaped us into the person we become by the time we stumble (or strut) into our 30s?

Would we actually wish we had it all figured out right now, or is the real lesson in surviving the storm—the whirlwind of emotions we go through without even realising that not knowing is part of the process?

Is the only thing we need to know in our 20s that the map is useless if we’re the ones charting the course?